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Tuesday August 15th 2006


This was supposed to have been posted yesterday, but I forgot to click the "Post it" button.

I just had a couple DingDongs out of the vending machine. Not bad. Not great either, though. I'd never had any of 'em before today. They tasted pretty much like I expected them to. I was really wanting a blueberry Fruit Pie, but got the DingDongs just so I could say I've had some. I sometimes refer to Red as Ding Dong, so it's sort of a joke.

Anyone know if a cell phone that was stuck in a toilet for a few days has any chance of ever working again? It wasn't submerged all that time. It was stuck in a position where it would only get flooded when the toilet was flushed. And no, my cell phone is just fine!

Oh.. Watched a movie yesterday. RV with Robin Williams. Funnier than I expected, yet not as funny as I expected. Makes sense, no? Well, my own expectations of the movie weren't that high. I was never a huge fan of Robin William. He's just too silly for me, much like Jim Carrey. So with that in mind, I wasn't expecting anything too funny. But then I read reviews of the movie, and was left with the impression that the reviewers found it hilarious. So I decided to give it a try. It had its funny moments, only too few and too far between.

I've been watching old Beavis and Butt-Head clips lately. They crack me up. Even Red, who claimed not to like them, had to laugh.

I wonder if Phenylalanine is bad for you. Why else would be in all caps and bolded on the Diet Mountain Dew bottles?

Anyone have a cheap 2000+ Dodge Intrepid for sale? Preferably w/out the craptastic 2.7L engine.

I wonder what the status is on my 4-wheeler driveshafts.. I need to call John and ask.



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Sunday August 13th 2006


Anyone ever tried online dating? I have.

I've come to the conclusion that any site you have to pay to use is a big waste of money. I tried both Match.com and Yahoo! Personals. The response was mediocre at best. Then a girl I dated briefly (K., the huge flake) told me to check out her profile on PlentyOfFish.com, as free dating site. I did, and I set up my own profile just so I could message her. Well, on that very first day, I had 2 people in addition to K. message me. 2 seemed to be about the average number of new people messaging me every day since. I have not made the first "move" on POF at all. Any contact I've had with women on there has been initiated by the women. On Match and Yahoo! it was about 50/50.

So if you want to try online dating, try PlentyOfFish.com. It's free, and it works. I'm currently dating someone I met on POF. You know her as Red. :)

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Friday August 11th 2006


Happy Birthday, Red. :)

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Thursday August 10th 2006


It's Red's birthday tomorrow! Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday Red!!!

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Tuesday August 8th 2006


I never did care to see "The Terminal" with Tom Hanks. I don't know why. From the moment it came out I just pictured a 2 hour boring movie about some badly acted russian guy living in a terminal.. Well, I finally did see it.

And wow, I was so wrong! This is really a great movie. It's over 2 hours, but in no way boring. It's highly entertaining, and you can't help but totally have the hots for Catherine Zeta-Jones.

I guess I'll just leave it at that since most people have already seen it.

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Sunday August 6th 2006


Sweet! An A-10 Warthog just made a low pass over my house!

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Friday August 4th 2006


Well, as expected, the cops are at the neighbors again!

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Friday August 4th 2006


Well, my retarded neighbors are back today. The whole bunch. They're moving out as I type. Well, just a few minutes ago they were arguing with my neighbors in the middle of the street. The short/old one had to be restrained by the fat/female one. I think the landlord referred to her as "you fat bitch" during an earlier dispute.

Not sure what prompted the dispute (you could say I was examining the insides of my eyelids), but it was clear that the short/old one was the agressor as he was yelling profanities (the very same ones that woke me from my nap) as he was walking toward the neighbor. Neighbor came out and met him in the street. No punches were thrown, though. I think if there had been punches, it would have turned into an all out brawl (the 4/5 retarded neighbors vs. the rest of the neighborhood).

Until next time...

Hopefully they'll be moved and gone soon.

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Friday August 4th 2006


Red apparently disagrees with me concerning who's to blame for me being tired yesterday. She feels I need to correct that statement. Since I don't have an edit feature (yet?), I can't edit the post. Not that I would even if I could, since it really IS her fault.

I called the cops last night. I haven't seen my retarded neighbors in days, and last night as I walked the dog I passed their garage, and it smelled like death. Something's decomposing in there. Cops came and looked it over, but he said he didn't see anything. He did smell it, though. I don't think he actually went into the garage. He said there's a dog locked up in the house, though. Once he left, a little while later, guess who shows up? The minivan driving part of the neighbor family. Instead of going into the house and checking on the dog, they get out a flashlight (it was around 11pm) and head into the garage. They do something in there for a couple minutes, then get back in the minivan and leave. Seems pretty obvious to me that they know what the smell is from.

The cop also said he remembered being at that house before. Seems someone complained about them driving their go-cart around in the street. That means in the 3 or 4 months they've lived there, cops have been there at least 4 times. I'd say that's a little over the national average.

I started writing this entry like 2 hours ago and forgot all about it. Guess I might as well finish it off.



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Thursday August 3rd 2006


Pink Floyd has released PULSE on DVD. Sweet! I've had the CD album for years. Time to add the DVD to the collection.

I was thinking about getting a new couch/chair this weekend. We'll see if I actually get one. I really need to get my ass to Home Depot too.

Finally the weather cooled down today! Yay!

Still no sign of my neighbors. This is good news.

Just a bunch of one liners today.

I'm tired. It's Red's fault.

15 minutes to go.

14 now.

13.

Watched Clerks 2 the other day. Was a worthy successor. They brought up the "ass-to-mouth" issue. I asked a guy at work the next day if he'd ever gone ass-to-mouth. He was very uneasy with the whole line of questioning. Wuss.

Today it rained, and I told the guy that rain are the tears if Baby Jesus. Then I told him that masturbation makes Baby Jesus cry, and since it was raining outside, someone had to have jacked it. Then I gave him a suspicious look. He denied it, but I'm pretty sure it was him!

10 minutes.. Time flies.

Hey, it does. Only 9 now!

Here's an interesting factoid: I just drank some water.

More interesting stuff. I just received an e-mail offering me VjIjAGRA for $3.35/dose. No thanks, chumps. My pecker works just fine, thanks. And if it didn't, do they really think I would buy from someone who purposely mis-spells the name to get around a spam filter? They had CjIjALIS, AMBjIjEN and VALjIjUM too. Morons.

5 minutes!

4 now.

3.

2 minutes!

1 minute!

Time to wrap things up!

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Wednesday August 2nd 2006


Hello Americans.

Paul Harvey sucks!

Good day!

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Tuesday August 1st 2006


Hey Red. ;)

Not a lot to report on these days.. Other than the fact that it's HOT! I might just have to break down and get an A/C unit if it keeps this up. Not so much for me, but my dog is suffering. Poor guy. All furry and black. I usually walk him at lunch time, but I skipped it today. I'm going to wait 'til tonight when it hopefully cools off some. At least the sun won't be roasting him.

There's a certain person at work that thinks the world revolves around her. Doesn't she realize she's wrong to think that? I mean, it's been proven that the world revolves around me! Doesn't she realize how much better than her I am???

No, I'm not that full of myself. But I like to have fun with it.

I just learned yesterday that women get their butts inspected when they go to the OBGYN. I thought they only checked out #1. Fascinating what one can learn, doncha think?

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Monday July 31st 2006


Just to make myself clear. It is hot!

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Monday July 31st 2006


It is hot!

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Sunday July 30th 2006


Had a friend come over yesterday to pick up some junk (car parts I don't need anymore, an old lawn mower, a couple car engines etc.) that I'd been holding on to for a few years. I figured since I hadn't used them yet, I most likely won't ever use them. Not to mention it's nice to have more room in the garage. We pretty much filled up his truck.

That groovy red head (let's call her Red from now on) came over last night. We decided to watch a movie. First we thought watching the original "The War of The Worlds" from 1953 would be pretty cool. Apparently some other force of the universe didn't want us to see that, though, 'cause my Media Center refused to play it. I found this a bit odd since I've played it before. Oh well. Failing that we decided to watch "Sin City" instead. Not knowing what to expect from the movie, I was surprised at the amount of graphic violence.

Anyway, here's a short review of "Sin City".

Based on a comic book, it features pretty cool cinematography. It's in black and white, with pretty much only red, yellow and blue (I think I remember some blue) being actual colors. So not quite black and white, and not quite color. Pretty neat. As far as the plot goes, well, I can't really report on that. About 1/2 way through the movie we found something more exciting to do. I kind of caught the ending, though. I give the movie ? thumbs ?. ;) Red gets two thumbs up!

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Friday July 28th 2006


Wow, talk about a blast from the past. Someone that I hadn't heard from in 5 years just called me up out of the blue yesterday. It was a bittersweet experience.

I still haven't jumped out of a plane. The skydiving center was supposed to call me back yesterday if the weather turned out, but since they didn't call I guess the weather wasn't stable enough. I'll see if I can get it done this weekend.

Today I spent the day in Grand Rapids attending Oktoberfest 2006. Yep, October in July. Leave it to BMW owners. They must be high on sniffing exhaust or something.

Anyway, I helped a friend promote his business there. He brought a bunch of products that he either makes or markets, and for the most part just tried to get the word out that he's around. Made a couple sales too. Some people from Puerto Rico were visiting, and the one guy ended up spending quite a bit. Never having been to a BMW meet before, I wasn't quite sure what kind of people to meet. There were the expected snobs, but also some pretty cool people. As for the cars, well, Bimmers aren't really my thing, so I wasn't that excited about them. The coolest cars I saw today was a couple Porsche 911's. Now those are more my style. Can't wait to own one.

The trip there and back was pretty uneventful, so there's really not a whole lot more to be said. I got to bed late last night and was up early this morning, so I just woke up from a 2 hr nap an hour ago.

Hmm, cops are at my door. Guess I should find out what they want.

Well, turns out my retarded neighbors claim to be missing some items. Maybe the fish they dumped in my yard? Cops wanted to know if I know anything about the landlord. I guess they suspect him to have taken stuff. Good news is that I definitely know now that they're renters. This gives me hope! Hopefully they'll be evicted soon and I can get some decent neighbors. Wouldn't you know too, today I didn't have my surveillance camera running so I can't help even if I wanted to. Not that I want to.

For reference, it was the same cop that yelled at me for riding my 4-wheeler.

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Wednesday July 26th 2006


By popular demand, here's another blog entry.

First I want to say hi to a really groovy red head. Hi!

Second. How 'bout I talk about a couple movies I've seen? Sounds like a plan.

"Brick"

Kill Bill meets The Twilight Zone. While the movie was entertaining, it was also very surreal. It had the opening death scene. It had the hero out to set things right. No swords, though. And Uma is much better looking than whatshisname in Brick. Brick is in reference to a slab of drugs. Basically everything in the movie happens because of said brick. I was entertained during the whole movie, but at the same time it was a bit of a let down. Someone I used to know had been talking about this movie making it seem like it was a must see. I disagree. It's decent entertainment, but the weirdness of it all takes something away from it. Overall verdict: It's all right. See it if you want, don't see it of you don't.

Next up: "10th and Wolf"

Guy leaves the mob life behind to go fight Saddam. After doing some bad stuff and facing a bad conduct discharge from the marines, he strikes a deal with law enforcement, agreeing to go back home to 10th and Wolf to act as an informant to help the feds take down a mob boss.

As is to be expected in a mob movie, there's death and violence. Not too bad, though. It was rather tastefully done. As always, there's also a romance story hiding in the curtains. It does take a back seat to the violence, though, which in this case is a good thing.

The movie is somewhat predictable, but not to where it doesn't still leave you guessing.

I liked this movie. I didn't expect it to last over 6 hours, though. And it didn't. But I started watching it, and then the aforementioned red head called. A bit over 4 hours later I continued watching the movie.

Finally: "Hot Tamale"

Love, sex, drugs, kidnappings and killings. Oh, and salsa. This movie has a bit of everything in it.It even has boobies in it. :D Apart from the pretty good sex scene (this is where those boobies come into play), the rest of the movie is crap. Just kidding. It's actually a very decent movie. In short: Country boy moves to LA to join a salsa band. On the way there he accidentally gets mixed up with some bad guys who want their stuff back. Unbeknownst to country boy, he's actually in posession of said stuff. The bad guys track him down, and before you know it there are kidnappings and drug deals going on. Oh, and a nipple ring. It's a fun movie. And a fun soundtrack too.

Oh, and I also finished watching the "Firefly" TV show. It was cancelled after one season, which I think was a shame. It had great entertainment value.

I've been off work this week, so blog updates have been suffering.

My neighbors haven't pulled any more stupid stunts. Although the cops were there last night. Not sure why. Keeping my fingers crossed for an eviction.

As soon as I'm doing with this blog entry I'm going to call a skydiving place to schedule a jump. Geronimo!



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Friday July 21st 2006


I didn't know he had it in him. Vin Diesel can actually be pretty funny.

Saw "Find me guilty" the other day. While it may sound like yet another boring court room drama on the surface, it actually wasn't that bad and had no problem keeping me interested. I think what makes it most interesting is that it's based on a true story and most of the court room dialog is straight from the court transcripts. Vin's character really did say those things. That's cool!

So yeah, it's not a bad movie at all. Not hilarious in any way, but absolutely entertaining. And ofcourse, there's historical value too. So not only do you get a few laughs, you get to learn some stuff about history.

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Thursday July 20th 2006


I damn near got myself a new hood ornament in the shape of a fawn last night. I managed to stomp the brake and swerve out of the way and missed it by a couple feet. It came running out of a corn field and just bolted across the road.

Well, I have a motion activated camera watching over my fucktard neighbors now, so if they pull some assclown stunt again I'll gladly show up at their door with bat in hand.

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Wednesday July 19th 2006


I'm surrounded by retards.

Literally. My neighbors across the street are retards. At least one of them is legally retarded. The others can't be far off.

Last night I come home to find someone dumped 10 or so dead fish in my yard. Considering the location of the fish, it's pretty safe to assume my neighbors dumped them there. How dumb do you have to be to do something like that? How does the thought even enter ones mind? Where does the notion of getting rid of fish in your neighbors yard come from?

I don't understand stupid people. Unfortunately, my neighborhood has its fair share of stupids.

Guess I have to set up that surveillance system after all.

That's all I have to say.

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